FEELING INVISIBLE

OUR GRAND DAUGHTER, TAMARA VAN DIEST, WHO IS ATTENDING ECOLA BIBLE SCHOOL IN OREGON, SENT THIS A COUPLE DAYS AGO AND HAS GIVEN ME PERMISSION TO SHARE IT HERE.

Feeling Invisible?

This topic has been on my mind for a couple days now. The other day I was walking down a sidewalk on campus and spotted one of my guy friends. I smiled, but he didn't acknowledge me or say anything. I continued walking and after I passed him, I heard him call out to a pretty girl walking behind me. Now I had three options, either feel angry at the guy for not acknowledging me, feel depressed about myself because I wasn't worth acknowledging...or just blow it off. I chose one of those options...and have been thinking about it ever since. So I had to write to get all of it out. And here is the full extent of my thought...


We've all seen them. They're the nerds who sit in the front of the class, or the quiet ones who sit in the very back. They are the guys who dress like dorks, or the fat girls who laugh nervously. They are the ones with names no one knows how to pronouce, or even knows. They are the ones who will stand behind us for at least 7 seconds, saying "excuse me!" so they can pass by. But we don't hear them. Because to us, they are invisible.

For most of my life I've felt pretty invisible. I've struggled with self esteem, basing my worth off what people said to me, whether the popular people knew my name, or how many times I was told "you have a beautiful voice". I hid behind my love of music, thinking that since I wasn't pretty, since I wasn't popular, and because I was just a nerdish 'fat chick', I had to be known for something. So I chose music to identify me. When I felt nervous, I would sing. When I wanted to impress someone, I'd sing. When I felt like crap, I would sing. My whole identity was based on my music skills. I felt that since they were the only things going for me, I'd use them like a shield to hide behind. That way, I could protect the parts of me that had been seen and rejected too many times. So, music, I thought, was the only thing I had left to use as a megaphone to the world, to scream out "I'm a person too! I have worth too. I'm someone worth talking to, worth hugging, worthy of friendship!"

I think the majority of the world's population bases their identity on something else, whether it's beauty, fame, talent, merit, people's opinions or soly on their significant other. We all scream out "look at me! I'm worth something!" But there are those who, no matter how hard they try, still feel invisible.

Our true identity is covered up by what we base our worth on. The world tells us that it is not enough to be a real human being, we must be more. But honestly, when we peel off all the layers that we've added to ourselves, we find one thing: we are either dead in sin, or alive in Christ. One of those two phrasesis the only thing in life that will ever truly identify us. It will effect our atitude, our personality, and all of our choices in life. Who I am in Christ is so much more valuable than anything I could ever do myself or become. Since I discovered, this my cloak of invisibility has disappeared. I struggle with self worth issues so much less, knowing that what I mean to God is of the utmost importance. Nothing else matters.

But there are so many more invisible people. Our task is to help peel off their 'layers of identity'. To show them that what this world thinks of them is nothing compared to what the Amazing Creator thinks of them. To tell them that He is the only thing we should use to identify us. And that without Him, we are more than invisible; we are nothing.